The facilitator who couldn't lie still

Confession: I hold sound baths for other people two nights a week, and until recently I could not get through one myself. Lie down, close my eyes, and immediately start answering emails in my head.

What finally helped wasn't a fancier bowl. It was permission. A friend led me through one and said at the start, 'You don't have to relax. You just have to stay.'

So I stayed. Fidgeted, planned, stayed. Somewhere in the long hum of the last bowl my jaw unclenched for what felt like the first time in weeks.

Resting without guilt is still a practice for me, not an achievement. But I'm staying.